Soul Searching

Alright, so....let's be real. I've been doing a little bit of soul searching over the past few days, wondering why I've been struggling so hard with this new paleo-lite/clean-eating business. And I realized that, when I first started out on this weight loss journey last May, I just wanted to be fit, control my portions and eat as healthy as possible. This time, I'm trying to fit myself into a mold that I'm not only uncomfortable with but that I don't think for me, is sustainable in the long run because I live in reality. That is not to say in any way that those people who can live this kind of "lifestyle" do not live in reality, it's just that my version of reality is slightly to the left (or right, whichever) of theirs. Essentially, what I'm saying is that I can't live someone else's life and pretend to be okay eating tree bark and almond flour everyday. It's just not me. I have cravings, and I give into them (sometimes way too much) and I really prefer to eat the things that I want in moderation instead of trying to make myself eat stuff that I really do not find enjoyable in order to fit into some mold that I think I should be in. I need to free myself up a little bit and do what works for me.

When I started losing weight last May, I ate low-calorie items and relatively clean, but I still ate pasta and potatoes...except instead of eating a giant bowl of pasta, I ate a small bowl of pasta...or instead of an entire baked potato, just 1/2 of a baked potato.  I ate foods with long chemical formula words that no one can pronounce in them, but I balanced that out by also eating fresh fruits and vegetables. I ate dessert and I drank alcohol--IN MODERATION. And for me, this plan worked. I lost 26lbs from May 14th to August 1st. 26!!! That's nothing to sneer at! And I did it my way! So far on this plan, I haven't lost anything, except for the initial weight in the very beginning which I am attributing to shock--my body had no idea what I was doing to it. But the last two weeks, I've lost nothing...actually, I am currently weighing in at 183lbs so I've gained 2lbs. And it's because I've been seriously denying myself the foods I want to eat to the point of crazy overload when eventually give in and eat them any way. See THIS lovely post yesterday. It's crazy! Why am I trying to fix a system that isn't broken? Because I apparently cannot think for myself and am giving into these images that I am bombarde with daily via Pinterest and my own life in PT school. PTs are generally known for being healthy and active, which pretty much everyone in my class is, so I felt like in order to fit in with these people I need to change my own eating habits....WTF? That doesn't even make any sense. My eating habits were fine! I wasn't eating pizza and tacos for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Who the fuck decided that low-fat cottage cheese was bad for you? Or whole wheat pasta? I understand the gluten free stance...but really, for someone without a gluten allergy, what the hell is wrong with whole wheat/grains? Or pasteurized almonds? Seriously?

So, in an effort to retain my own sense of self and stop with the self-loathing, I am reverting back to my previous weight loss habits: eating healthy, controlling portions, getting fit. No more crazy GF, paleo, clean restrictions...just me. Sure, I'll still eat GF, paleo, and clean items, but I'm not going to be all nuts and make those things the only items I consume.

For instance:
B: two hard boiled eggs, 1 piece of honey wheat toast, and 1 laughing cow garlic and herb cheese wedge (245 calories)
L: Fresh Spinach Spaghetti with one small chicken drumstick (654 calories)
D: TBD
Ex: 90 minute Bikram Yoga Session (at 6am I might add)

Super healthy, low-calorie and delicious (according to my currently full tummy and happy taste buds), but GF? nope. Paleo? nope. Clean? nope.

So there you have it. Take it or leave it. Here's to a happier, less hungry me. :)

Fresh Spinach Spaghetti [Recipe]

I whipped this up today for lunch because I have been dying for some pasta and it seemed like it would all go together nicely. It was really easy to do and so refreshing. It definitely hit the spot!

Ingredients

• 6 cloves garlic (or 2 tablespoons minced garlic)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 box whole wheat spaghetti
• 2 tablespoons sea salt
• 4 cups fresh baby spinach

Directions

1. Bring a pot of water with the sea salt to a rolling boil, cook pasta according to directions/taste.
2. Meanwhile, combine olive oil and garlic in a bowl and microwave on high for about 1 minute.
3. Add lemon juice and mix well.
4. When pasta is finished, drain well, add spinach and sauce and toss lightly. Cover and let sit for a few minutes so the spinach can wilt just a tiny bit.
5. Enjoy by itself or sprinkle with parmesan/goat cheese.

So, obviously this isn't rocket science and if you have the time, go ahead and sautee the garlic in the olive oil over the stove. To be honest, I didn't want to have to wash another pot just for the garlic, so this worked for me. Whatever you want to do :)

Nutrition Breakdown:

Makes 4 servings

The sodium content is high because of the salt added to the pot of boiling water. Obviously, not all that salt is going to get absorbed into the pasta, but I add every ingredient to my nutrition calculator just to be on the safe side!

I really hope you enjoy this dish, it made for a great lunch! :)

ATTENTION!

I just devoured an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream in less than 20 minutes!

I am a failure.

That is all. Carry on.

Stress Level Escalating

Today was not exactly my day...some parts were great, others have me unbelievably stressed out.

Started out okay. I was scheduled to go to my school's basketball game at 1. My babysitter was supposed to get here at 10:45 so I could get there early enough to get a good spot. We had a freak ice storm yesterday and she called me at 9:30 to tell me that she could not drive herself because she couldn't get out of her driveway, so could I please come get her. I said I could, but at that point I was still in my pajamas and so was Bubs. I showered quickly, got dressed, dressed Bubs, fed Bubs, fed myself (two hardboiled eggs and a piece of plain wheat toast), got out to my car and spent 20 mother fucking minutes trying to chisel ice off all the windows...fuck. I didn't even get to the babysitter's house until 10:45....so I ended up being 30 minutes later to the game then I had planned, which honestly wasn't too bad. I didn't have to stand out in the cold for very long and I ended up in the third row...and we won! yay! So I guess that's not a terribly good example of why I'm so stressed...read on...

When I got home from the game though, all hell broke loose. Apparently my dear Hubs, unknowingly clogged our downstairs toilet the night before and it had been running all night long, leaking water into our daughter's playroom without anyone noticing. I didn't notice this morning because we were rushing around and Bubs never even went into her playroom. So I spent my entire evening taking all of her toys out of the playroom (her brand new dollhouse that she got for Christmas is ruined by the way), ripping up carpet, and cleaning up gigantic puddles...

I was supposed to have a date with my team, but I ended up being an hour late because after cleaning all that up, I had to feed Bubs and bathe her, and now that I'm home, I have to figure out what to do tomorrow. I am supposed to go to a study group and Hubs was going to take Bubs to a birthday party. But now, he wants to clean the carpet and lay down new padding so we can get everything resituated and fixed, and he doesn't want to take Bubs to the party because this project will take all day. I just found out that our class is throwing a baby shower tomorrow for a classmate's wife who is due in a few weeks and I don't know if I can make it to that or even have the time to buy a gift. I wanted to go running tomorrow, because while I've been active every day this past week except for today, I haven't been running since Tuesday. I ate like shit again today (besides breakfast, I had chipotle for lunch,  a large Blue Moon draught, a french dip sandwich and waffle fries at dinner and a box of butterfinger bites at the movie theatre). Aaaand I have a huge exam on Wednesday and 4 exams the following week. Not to mention, our financials are a god damn mess right now....I just....ugh...

I honestly don't know what to do with myself right now and I'm freaking out about the billions of things that need to get done. And why does a monkey wrench always get thrown into everything I plan? I barely saw Bubs today and I wanted to take her shopping to buy a gift for her friend for her party. I'm so super stressed and it is freaking me out....


wooooo saawwwwwwwwww

I Do Not Like the Cone of Shame

I suck. :(

This week has been terrible, awful, and bad (all rolled into one) as far as eating is concerned. Like REALLY BAD. I think I ate well maybe one day out of this entire week and I am fighting a SERIOUS sugar/chocolate craving onslaught that is just insatiable! I don't know what to do. I literally was eating ganache and almond butter off a spoon less than 10 minutes ago. And not just one spoonful...like 4 spoonfuls. What. The. Fuck? What am I doing with my life right now? Ugh...Am I being too restrictive? Is that the problem? Should I go back to eating low-cal, mostly clean foods instead of entirely clean and low-carb/low-cal? I don't want to sabotage myself. My goal is to lose weight, but I want to be healthy also and I think I'm confused as to how to make all that happen and still eat the foods I want to eat and not crave bad shit all the time. Is that too lofty? Is that even possible or am I living in fairytale land? I think its time for a reevaluation. Let's run through my week:

Monday
Monday was a holiday so I didn't have class and neither did Bubs. We spent the day cooking and playing and when Hubs got home from work I went to the gym and ran a few miles and then did this weird recumbent elliptical thing. Whatev. It did the trick because my ass was definitely sore. I ate protein pancakes with homemade strawberry sauce and a hard boiled egg, kielbasa skillet with a salad, and balsamic pot roast with a little bit of Annie's mac and cheese and some corn. Not too bad. I was under my calorie goal. yay!

Tuesday
Ran two miles/walked two miles after class with a running buddy from my class. I had pancakes with strawberry sauce, pumpkin chili with an avocado, kielbasa skillet and cauliflower fried rice, and no-sugar added vanilla ice cream with sugar-free chocolate syrup (while only 108 calories, definitely NOT clean). I was under my calorie goal though.

Wednesday
This is where the troubles REALLY began. I didn't have any class on Wednesday and miraculously the stars aligned and Hubs had a scheduled day off from work. So we had an entire day to ourselves because Bubs still had school. This week is restaurant week for our city so we decided to go to one of the participating restaurants for lunch! BAD IDEA. First of all, restaurant week lunch is supposed to be $10 prix fixe. Did we order off the prix fixe menu? Of course not. We had...goat cheese and crab dip with about 100 little pita triangles, a grit cake topped with bacon gravy, a calamari caesar salad, and key lime pie (oh and maybe a bottle of cider...maybe). ALL FREAKING AMAZING...but definitely not clean or calorie-friendly (or wallet friendly because we spent like $60). On top of all of that, I had to go home and make cupcakes for one of my team members' birthdays! I made boston cream pie cupcakes that were REALLY good. (Side note: I LOVE to bake--especially cupcakes and I spend a lot of time around my friends' birthdays thinking of new and interesting cupcake flavors...everyone gets a different flavor, every time). But of course, I had to taste test them. So I had two. Also, I had a ton of leftover ganache so I've been eating that for the past two days with random stuff....just wait! Anyway, and I also had some leftover pumpkin chili later in the evening. Definitely not under my calorie goal, even though I did go to yoga in the morning.

Thursday
I thought that Thursday was my day. I had pancakes and strawberry sauce, chili with an avocado, and then came the birthday celebrations. Fuck. I had a cupcake, of course. But I took it a step further and ate like 400 butter snap pretzels. See, the thing is...my teammate eats these fucking pretzels everyday so we decided to get him a really girly piñata and fill it with them. So, after he smashed open said piñata, we sat through a 4 hour lecture just munching away mindlessly. So I vowed that I would not eat anything for the rest of the day after that and that I would skip dinner. Yea, that didn't work. I went to the gym and rode the shit out of a stationary bike for 30 minutes because that's all the time that I had before I had to pick up Bubs from school, and when I got home I snuck two pieces of my husband's pepperoni pizza AND THEN I made chocolate covered strawberries with some of the leftover ganache. Did we save any of the strawberries for a later date? Umm fuck no, we ate the entire god damn pint of strawberries right then and there. And I STILL had leftover ganache. Under the calorie goal? No way in hell.

Friday
Ahhhh today. Today I got my ass up at 5 am and went to bikram. Then I had a gala apple and two tablespoons of almond butter and a hardboiled egg for breakfast, followed by pumpkin chili for lunch. Good, right? I followed my pumpkin chili with some ganache/peanut butter on a spoon...and a glass of WHOLE milk because that's what was in the fridge. Fail. For dinner, I made mushroom cap pizzas (recipe coming), but for good measure I still ate 1.5 slices of the pizza that Hubs and Bubs were sharing and followed all that wonderfulness up with the 4 tablespoons of almond butter/ganache that I mentioned earlier. SO NOT UNDER MY CALORIE GOAL!

On the plus side, the MOTHER FUCKING ganache is gone!!!! Praise Jesus.

So that's my week. Yay me. I suck. I need to change some shit for next week. I can't keep eating like this or I'm going to gain some serious weight. Why do I have no self control? I think next week I'm going to give myself a little bit of room on the "clean eating" front and just eat healthy and smaller portions to see if I can get myself back into the groove. I'm going to add back in some whole wheat pasta, and I'm planning on making that pumpkin chili again, only this time with black beans instead of chickpeas and I won't be eating any avocados this week because they are really heavy on calories (yes, I know they are good for me, but WAY too many calories to justify eating them every single day). I put the remaining pancakes in my freezer for a later date because I'm getting bored of them, so I plan on having fruit and hardboiled eggs (and maybe some whole grain toast) for breakfast this next week. Hopefully I can change it up enough to get my ass back into gear. My only question is what do I do if I get a craving for sweets/chocolate? I'm looking into buying PB2 at Whole Foods tomorrow. I wonder if I can make that banana shake with PB2 instead to lighten the calories for when I have a sugar craving...just a thought.

I will say that my one shining star from this week is that I exercised every single day. Even if I didn't have time, I squeezed it in, and I made the effort to do something each day. So I will give myself THAT. Hopefully it means something.

Anyway, this all starts tomorrow, of course. The sooner the better. I have tickets to a huge basketball game tomorrow! My school is playing one of our conference rivals and we just lost BAD this week, so I'm sure there will be a crazy crowd trying to help them get their shit together. Should be fun! The game is early in the afternoon so I'm hoping to get a run in immediately afterward! We shall see!

Please send some positive vibes that I will get over this madness sooner rather than later and start inching closer to my goals. I am afraid to weigh myself at this point and I probably won't even do so until late next week....

sigh....here's to a NEW start...immediately.

Crock Pot Balsamic and Onion Pot Roast [Recipe]

So, usually I make my pot roasts with cream of mushroom soup and french onion soup mix just like my mom always did. NOT CLEAN. But I LOVE LOVE LOVE pot roast. It is a staple of my childhood, and since I absolutely loathe cooked carrots (don't ask me why--I have always picked them out of any dish), I always make mine with mushrooms and onions and serve over mashed potatoes. So, the comfort food of my childhood was definitely not going to cut it when I started craving some good ol' fashioned pot roast the other day. I searched Pinterest (oh how I love that site) and came across this recipe that uses all clean ingredients! It can be found at A Cook's Quest. It is delicious and tangy! So good and with minimal effort!

picture courtesy of A Cook's Quest

Ingredients

• 3-4 lb boneless chuck tender roast
• Onion powder
• Garlic powder
• Black pepper
• 1-2T olive oil
• 1/4 cup water
• 2-3 large yellow onions, peeled and sliced thick
• 1 small basket of pre-sliced mushrooms
• 1 cup low-sodium vegetable broth, reduced to 1/2 cup
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 cup tomato sauce (or 1/4 cup tomato paste and 1/4 cup water)

Directions

1. Rub meat well with onion powder, garlic powder and pepper.
2. Heat pan and coat with olive oil. Brown the roast really well on both sides.
3. Reduce your vegetable broth, let cool and add balsamic vinegar and tomato sauce.
4. Place onions and mushrooms in bottom of slow cooker, top with roast.
5. Deglaze the roasting pan with 1/4 cup water and add drippings to balsamic mixture. Mix well and pour over roast and onions in crock pot.
6. Cook on low for 6-8 hours until roast falls apart.
7. After roast is finished, remove from crock pot along with mushrooms/onions and cover to keep warm. (Note: you can also broil for a few minutes to caramelize the onions and get a nice crisp finish to the meat) 
8. Cook down the liquid by about 1/3 to get a nice "gravy" -- add cornstarch or flour if you want to thicken it. Serve over mashed potatoes or with baked/mashed sweet potatoes.

Makes approx. 6 servings

Crockpot Pumpkin Chicken Chili [Recipe]

I have a wonderful cold-weather recipe to share tonight courtesy of Cinnamon Spice & Everything Nice! It is super easy to throw together, but definitely be prepared to cook it all day, especially if you use dry chickpeas like I did. THEY WOULD NOT GET SOFT! I added almost 2 extra hours ON HIGH to get them to a softer texture. I was salivating because my house smelled so great, but I couldn't eat it! AHHHH! It was terrible waiting. BUT, I did eventually get to eat it and it is phenomenal (even though they were still a little bit on the crunchy side)! Some helpful hints are below (and of course my own variations)! Enjoy!

picture courtesy of Cinnamon Spice & Everything Nice

Ingredients

• 1 14oz can diced tomatoes
• 1 14oz can pumpkin puree
• 2 cups vegetable or chicken broth
• 1 large white onion, diced
• 5 cloves minced garlic
• 1T chili powder
• 1t ground cumin
• 1t oregano, crushed between fingertips
• 1t sea salt
• 1.5 lbs chicken breast
• 1 heaping cup of dry chickpeas OR 2 14oz cans chickpeas, rinsed and drained
• 1 cup corn
• 2T fresh chopped cilantro
• green onion, plain greek yogurt, avocado slices for serving

Directions

1. If using dry chickpeas, soak overnight before using in this recipe.
2. Whisk tomatoes, pumpkin, broth, garlic and spices together in the crockpot.
3. Add onion, chicken, corn and chickpeas and mix well.
4. Cook on low for 4-5 hours on high or 6-8 hours on low.
5. Mix cilantro in at the very end.
6. Top with green onion, yogurt, avocado, etc. and serve!!!

Yummy!

Nutrition Breakdown:
Makes about 6 servings (nutrition facts do not include garnishes)

Calories: 306
Total Fat: 3g
Cholesterol: 65mg
Sodium: 550mg
Potassium: 477mg
Total Carbs: 45g
Dietary Fiber: 17g
Sugars: 10g
Protein: 35g
Vitamin A: 195%
Vitamin C: 24%
Calcium: 12%
Iron: 20%

VERY CLEAN and VERY HEALTHY. I topped mine with avocado only, because that's how I roll but feel free to dress it up to your liking! :) ENJOY!!!

Special thanks to Cinnamon Spice for her help in making this recipe tonight!

Kielbasa Sauerkraut Skillet [Recipe]

This has been a staple in my house for a few years! I got the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook two Christmases ago and this recipe comes from that. A variation of it can be found here but its not the same as in the cookbook and I've never made it this way so I can't attest to its yumminess at all. :) I usually serve it over white rice, but here is my most recent clean variation using cauliflower fried rice instead!

Ingredients

• 2 lb Turkey Kielbasa (I use Wilshire Farms because it is clean...it can be found at Whole Foods)
• 1, 15oz can of sauerkraut
• 1 small red onion
• 1T spicy brown mustard
• 1t caraway seeds
• 1 large head of cauliflower
• onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper and any other spices to taste
• 2T olive oil

Directions

1. Cut kielbasa into small chunks, slice onion and place in skillet. Cook until onion is soft and kielbasa is browning.
2. Add undrained sauerkraut, mustard, and caraway seeds, let simmer stirring occasionally.
3. For the cauliflower fried rice, rice the cauliflower in a food processor.
4. Heat the olive oil in a separate skillet and place the cauliflower, add the onion powder and other spices to taste and cook until the cauliflower begins to brown a little bit. 
5. Serve the kielbasa and kraut over the cauliflower rice! Salt and pepper as needed!

Nutrition Breakdown

The recipe makes 4 servings of kielbasa and 2 servings of cauliflower fried rice.

The nutrition reflects one serving of each

Calories: 602 (kielbasa=377, "rice"=225)

Total Fat: 38g

Saturated: 7g

Polyunsaturated: 2g

Monounsaturated: 10g

Cholesterol: 120mg

Sodium: 2298mg

Potassium: 1560mg

Total Carbs: 34g

Dietary Fiber: 15g

Sugars: 15g

Protein: 42g

Vitamin A: 13%

Vitamin C: 356%

Calcium: 11%

Iron: 44%

Fail Fail Fail

WELLLLLLL...last night was so great! Hubs and I got together with two women from my program and their husbands for dinner at the most amazing restaurant in town followed by drinks at a local bar. SOOO FUN! It was so great to spend time with them, and of course to be out with Hubs. We haven't been on a date in so long. I can't even begin to say how much fun it was!

The bad part though? I failed on the eating AND on the not drinking front. In fact, I got pretty hammered instead! And the food at the restaurant we went to was DIVINE. So obviously there was no way in hell it could possibly be good for you. Haha! Here's what I had:

Cocktail: The St. Fizz...it was some sort of lime champagne thing and it was so refreshing. So naturally I had 4.
Appetizer: Tuna tartare with anchovy sauce (AMAAAZING)
Dinner: Slow cooked leg of lamb over parsnip mash with mustard greens topped with a horseradish cream sauce (I am salivating right now typing this...omg it was so good)
Dessert: Kumquat bread pudding (the only thing that I wasn't wild about...shoulda had the creme brulee)

At the bar afterward I had a Baby Guiness shot (kahlua and baileys) and two Crispin ciders.

I was sloshed. And I'm pretty sure I consumed at least 3000 calories last night. And I felt like absolute dog shit all day. I'm getting old...I don't recover from binge drinking like I used to. haha. Clearly I didn't make it to my yoga class this morning. I didn't even go to bed until 2:30.

So, I failed. BUT I had so much fun and it was a wonderful night. I don't even care. I don't feel bad AT ALL. And I ate well today. I had pumpkin protein pancakes for brunch and kielbasa sauerkraut skillet for dinner. I am currently dying to make a chocolate chip cookie mug but am trying to restrain myself. I might end up giving in though. Can't decide :)

Anyway, up early tomorrow for a run! Gotta get back on that grind :)

UPDATE (1 hour later):
I caved on the chocolate cookie in a mug thing. just finished it...yummy....DEFINITELY need a good run tomorrow :)

Date Night TONIGHT!!!!

In case you didn't read my post about my chocolate chip cookie mug that I caved and ate last night....clearly things are going well. Right...They're not too bad and for the most part I am staying in my calorie ranges, but I have definitely been craving some not so great (and certainly not clean) things the past few days.

Besides the cookie mug, last night I had another grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. I added a nice salad as well though to balance it out, but DAMN! Why do I want to eat the bad things? :(

And today for lunch I had a 6" Turkey sub (no cheese, on honey oat, with tomatoes, red onions, pickles and spinach with spicy mustard) and some sliced apples (365 calories total). Not clean but still healthy. I'm a work in progress! Haha!

Tonight we are going to one of the most talked about restaurants in our area and I am SOOOO excited, but very nervous about the calorie intake and whatnot. I have already told myself no alcohol, of course, but food wise--I've already looked at their menu and salivated over every single item. There is no way any entree on that menu is less than 1000 calories. I guess that I'm just going to have to let my hair down and just live a little tonight. Like I just said, I'm a work in progress and I need to relax sometimes! Besides, I exercised every day this week, including today (although today I only did 2.5 miles on the treadmill and it took me 30 min...mehhhh) and I am planning on going to a yoga class in the morning......so I'm fine! One meal won't ruin my life, right? RIGHT!!!!

I do have to say that my gym session was FABULOUS yesterday! I did 15 minutes each on the elliptical, the stationary bike and the treadmill and then I lifted, focusing on my abs, arms, and shoulders. I think I was there for about 2 hours and I feel sore and wonderful all at the same time today. I think I can get used to this gym rat thing! Today though, I really wanted to get on the pilates reformer after I ran on the treadmill but apparently I can only use them in a class and not by myself. I wasn't feeling the gym any more after that so I just came home and now I'm sitting in my sweatiness wondering what to do with myself before I have to go get Bubs from school. womp. Guess I should shower, right?

p.s. that "snow storm" we got was bullshit, by the way. A whole lot of hoopla for a small dusting of ice and no cancelled classes. My cable did go out last night right when my school's basketball team tipped off so I was a bit peeved by that, but I studied instead so I guess it was meant to be.

SOOOO NOT Clean Single-Serving Chocolate Chip Cookie [Recipe]

Welp, I have a wonderful little recipe for you that my friends at Pinterest have been shoving down my throat every single time I go on there these days. It's from Love From the Oven and its a Single Serving Deep Dish Cookie (a la mode)...no, not clean in any sense of the word BUT I rationalize sharing it with you like this: Doing some quick research (read: goole search) I came across the Nestle Tollhouse Cookie Recipe which makes 5 dozen cookies (that's 60 cookies, people) at 110 calories apiece. Have you ever made homemade cookies and actually gotten 60 cookies? I MIGHT get 3 dozen if I'm lucky, so realistically for me, each cookie is about 140 calories. Now, have you ever had just one? Riiiiiiight. If I'm making 3 dozen cookies, I'm eating at least a dozen by myself. Maybe not all in one sitting, but if they are on my counter, they are getting eaten. My willpower is not that strong. That's 1680 calories of cookies!!! And that doesn't even count if I want to dress the cookies up with ice cream and chocolate syrup!

So anyway, my point is, why torture yourself like that when you can make a single serving cookie with a little bit of ice cream in a mug in your microwave in under 5 minutes from start to finish for about 400 calories and then walk away feeling okay about not having consumed 1680 calories of cookies. No, this recipe is not clean in any way...it uses refined sugar and white flour, but cravings can't constantly be denied or a) you will eventually give in to them and feel really bad about yourself, b) you will want whatever you were craving even more once you do have it because you denied yourself for so long, c) you will overeat whatever you were craving because you denied yourself for so long, and/or d) instead of just giving in to the one craving, you might say "FUCK it!" and call the entire day a wash and eat a whole bunch of other shitty stuff which you don't need to do or want to do!!!

So, I was craving chocolate in a bad way for many days and this is what Pinterest presented me with. I fought hard to not make it for a few days, but I knew that if I kept denying myself then any of options A-D would rear their ugly head and I didn't want that. (side note: I was complimented on my physique by someone else today!) I've worked hard and people are starting to notice, so I didn't want to fuck it all up.

So anyway, here is the recipe as made by me:

Ingredients

• 1.5T butter/margarine (I use County Crock Plus Vitamin D because that's what's in my fridge)
• 1/2T light brown sugar
• 1T Truvia Baking Blend
• 1/8t vanilla extract
• 1/4C flour (I used regular because I ran out of oat flour and didn't feel like grinding more...lazy)
• 1/8t baking powder
• dash of salt
• 1T chocolate chips or other mix-ins of choice (I added pecans as well)

Directions

1. In the mug or in a small bowl, melt butter.
2. Add sugars and vanilla and stir until thoroughly combined.
3. Add flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Mix until you get a dough-like consistency.
4. Add your mix-ins, place in mug, flatten out a little bit and microwave for :40s to 1:20s depending  on your microwave. If you want it gooey in the middle do about :45s.
5. Top with ice cream and serve while hot!
6. DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

Nutrition Breakdown:

This makes one perfectly individualized serving. With just chocolate chips as a mix-in and 1/2 cup of Edy's No Sugar Added Slow Churned Vanilla Ice Cream, here's what the nutrition looks like...

Calories: 400

Total Fat: 15g

Saturated: 7g

Polunsaturated: 4g

Monounsaturated: 2g

Cholesterol: 10mg

Sodium: 286mg

Potassium: 40mg

Total Carbs: 65g

Dietary Fiber: 4g

Sugars: 23g

Protein: 7g

Vitamin A: 21%

Vitamin C: 0%

Calcium: 21%

Iron: 6%

I really like this dessert. It's rich and filling and because its just one serving I don't have to worry about overeating a dozen cookies. I can make it whenever a chocolate craving strikes (which is fewer and farther between these days) because its quick and easy, and because it's only 400 calories I honestly don't feel bad. Plus, you can sub oat flour, stevia, maple syrup, pecans etc. to make it clean! Play around with it and let me know! :)

Confessions Confessions

I fell off my clean eating wagon on Tuesday...and against last night. Tuesday wasn't so bad--I ate pumpkin pancakes and salad for breakfast and lunch, respectively. But then I did a 4-mile treadmill interval workout AND played basketball with my classmates and I guess I didn't time my eating well because I felt so sick afterward from not eating anything that I couldn't even move. So I took a shower and a nap to feel better and when I woke up I still wasn't feeling well, so Hubs made me a grilled cheese sandwich (!) and a bowl of Campbell's Chunky Savory Vegetable soup (!!). I was still within my calorie limits, but neither of those were clean in any way. Sigh.

Yesterday, I ate clean all day, no problems, but then that STUPID chocolate craving came back. I decided I would try a little concoction I found on Pinterest. It's 3T oat flour, 1.5T butter, 2T brown sugar, a splash of vanilla, and 1T chocolate chips. It's supposed to taste like chocolate chip cookie dough and it's single serve so I didn't think it would be too bad. WRONG. First, the taste was a bit off because there was too much brown sugar. If I ever make it again I will only use 1T. Second, I put it into my calorie counter and it weighs in at a whopping 316 calories. Umm no. No acceptable. I was within my calorie limits until I ate that and it pushed me WAAAYYYY over. So, probably never again. Plus, its not clean...chocolate chips, refined sugar, butter...you know.

So today, I'm staying on the clean eating wagon ALLL DAY! I had pumpkin pancakes and a banana for breakfast and just downed a salad with pork loin and homemade balsamic dressing (super easy: mustard, minced garlic, balsamic vinegar....put as much as you want of each ingredient...I use 1/2t garlic, 2T balsamic, 1T mustard...and mix it all up. It is very vinegar-y but I LOVE IT and its really low on calories at about 35 per serving. not too shabby!).  For dinner I plan on making a Kielbasa and Kraut Skillet. One of my absolute favorite recipes! I'll let you know how it goes with all clean ingredients. If it is worthy, I shall post it in my recipe collection! :)

As far as weight and whatnot are concerned: I weighed in at 181.4 today, but was at 180.6 yesterday. Meh. No big changes, but I don't expect much day-to-day. I weigh myself everyday, but I only really compare my weights on Saturdays. The 170s are so so close.

Exercising has been great as well! Yesterday I went to Bikram with my classmate. The instructor was new though and the room wasn't as hot as I was accustomed to, so I didn't feel like the class was as difficult as usual. I'm still sore and I feel like I worked hard, don't get me wrong, but new teachers have a hard time controlling the environment in the room so I prefer specific people. The teacher I thought was supposed to run the class ended up switching at the last minute. Oh well. I still got it in. :) And today I'm hoping to go to the gym with a different classmate after our afternoon class. The weather here has been pretty DISMAL all week (and apparently we are supposed to get a snow storm this evening) so all I want to do is curl up in my comfy bed and go to sleep, but I need to keep working out and have a couple of things to study for before my three-day weekend! MUST KEEP MOTIVATED!!!!! One of my classmates told me today that I have been looking skinny recently! People are noticing! Gotta keep going!!!

170s here I come! I saw you briefly last summer, but I am going to make you my permanent friend here in a minute (but only for about a month!) haha! :)

Clean Eating is Tough

Having a great few days! Back on the school grind! I spent my weekend cleaning and cooking and doing schoolwork, but I also got to spend some time sleeping and of course, Bubs and I had a wonderful day on Saturday. She got to meet one of my classmates' children and they played and played for hours at the farmer's market. And then she passed out in 2.5 seconds. Gloriousness! :)

I managed to get a good long interval workout in on Sunday morning. I was soooooo sore from Bikram on Friday and I needed to move my body. So I went for a 5 mile walk/jog interval. I felt so great afterward. And today in between classes, I went for a quick 3 mile walk/RUN interval. That's right, RUN. And I mean bookin' it. I power walked a song, and then RAN the next as fast as I could. I think I was going to PR but at about 10 minutes from the end of my run my iPhone app decided it no longer wanted to track me and turned off. I was pissed! I was screaming at my phone while running. People driving by probably thought I was nuts (which I am, I guess). So I was mad, but there is always tomorrow.

I've been eating well, but craving some badness the past few days. I really wanted chocolate today and I found a recipe for almond butter brownies, but they came out terrible, so I'm not even going to post. They were so bitter, no hint of sweetness at all. Ick. So, I'm still chocolate-less. I have a recipe for a cocoa-coconut custard with all clean ingredients, but it has SOOOO many calories in it that I just don't think it's worth it even if it does combine my two favorite things.

Nope, instead I've been enjoying pumpkin protein pancakes, apple pork loin, sweet potatoes, salad, hardboiled eggs and strawberries for the past few days. Though, Saturday night Hubs and I shared a buffalo steak that I got at the farmer's market which was phenomenal--I topped it with goat cheese and serve it with garlic and mushroom sauteed spinach. The spinach was meh, but everything else was great. I'm still working on clean recipes. It's hard. I love spinach but its bland for the most part and I have yet to come across many recipes that make it less so. I found some good recipes for various things that I'll be trying out next week so stay tuned!

Also, I weighed 181.8 today. Not too bad! :)

Heading to bed, I'm exhausted.

Crock Pot Apple Pork Loin [Recipe]

I found a great recipe courtesy of Crossfit + Paleo = A Winning Combination! This recipe is ridiculously good and very simple. I put it together in the crock pot in about 10 minutes and let it cook all day. My house smelled amazing and this dish was so moist and flavorful and yummy! OMG I'm salivating right now. Best part is that I made it with a 4lb pork loin so I have dinner and lunch for the next few days all set! You can find the recipe at the link, but you know I like to make my own variations so see below!

Ingredients

• 4lb pork loin (check the labels, a lot of pork loins are cured/preserved with salt and other hard to pronounce chemical words-my husband forgot this when he bought this loin so I just made it and ate it anyway--no sense in wasting it. But NEXT time!)
• 3 red delicious apples
• 4 tablespoons raw honey
• 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
• 3 tablespoons cinnamon

Directions

1. Slice apples and place a few in the bottom of the pot, sprinkle with cinnamon.
2. Cut slits into pork loin, drizzle the insides with honey and place a few apple slices
3. Place pork loin in pot, pour vinegar over top, arrange remaining apple slices, drizzle with remaining honey, liberally sprinkle with cinnamon.
4. Cook on low for 7 hours.

This stuff will melt in your mouth and fall apart, and it is amazing. I served it with sweet potatoes, and then for lunch today I had some on a salad. Amazing either way.

Nutritional Breakdown:

1 serving = 4 oz

Calories: 235

Fat: 13g

Saturated: 5g

Cholesterol: 65mg

Sodium: 140mg

Potassium: 40mg

Total Carbs: 11g

Dietary Fiber: 2g

Sugars: 7g

Protein: 20g

Vitamin C: 4%

Calcium: 4%

Iron: 8%

Nothing Groundbreaking...

Just two quick things:

1) 181.6lbs! Yay!

2) Baked sweet potato topped with goat cheese, green onions, and garlic. AMAZING! I don't even like sweet potatoes but I'm trying to get on them in the name of clean eating because they are so good for you. Today was my second foray into trying sweet potatoes (last week I had mashed sweet potatoes, but they were really buttery and I was not a fan). Aaaaand to make things even better, the goat cheese I got today was straight from our local farmer's market! Made by "Celebrity Dairy"...so fresh and flavorful, it took all my strength to not eat the entire log in one sitting. Seriously. I ate 1.5 ounces and that was it. Self restraint! Go me!

Okay Bubs is taking a nap therefore I should study....so I'm going to go take a nap as well! :)

It's Friday....Finally

This has been seriously the longest week of my life. I have no idea why, but it just draaaaggggged on foreevvvvverrrrr. I had at least one readiness assessment (quiz) per day this week and endless amounts of reading and online lectures to watch in every class. And guess what?! I have the same shit again next week. Yay PT school! At least this semester the things I am learning are things I actually care about. Last semester my classes consisted of anatomy, physiology, biomechanics, health promotion, and professional development. Boooooring. I felt like a biology major, not a PT student. But THIS semester I am taking PT interventions and examinations, communication (for patient interviews), movement science (focusing on gait analysis), physiology (part 2...blahhh) and neuroanatomy/neurology (the field I am most interested in). Plus I've got a week of clinical internship in there as well. SO. MUCH. BETTER. Not work-wise, there is a ton of shit to do every single day but I'm at least interested in all of it so the 4 hours I spend studying per night doesn't actually feel like 4 hours, plus I can actually feel my brain swelling with pertinent knowledge. No joke.

And I found out some wonderful news today, my little sister had an interview to be a PT tech at a clinic in her town in VA. I'm so excited for her. She has a master's in physiology but has been working as a secretary basically in a chiropractic clinic (cringe) for the past year. She hates it and has spent the last few months soul searching and trying to figure out what she wants to do with herself. She can't decide between veterinary medicine or physical therapy, but she had the interview today and said it went well and then she went home and apparently searched PT schools online because she has been texting me nonstop to tell me all about the info she is finding out (apparently there is a school working on getting their PT accreditation about 30 minutes from her house). So I'm very excited for her. How weird would it be to have two PTs in the family? My only concern for her is that she struggled with the volume of work and the concepts while working toward her master's degree, and PT school isn't a walk in the park. I practically died my first semester, so I wonder how she will manage. I guess there is a long time for her to  figure that one out though, haha. She has to get the tech job first and see if she even likes working in the PT setting, which she might not. Plus she really loves animals and has been waiting to hear back about working as a vet assistant for almost a month now and they've basically been blowing her off. I don't know! I'm sure everything will work out in the end! :)

Okay, back to me and non-PT related things. Be proud, people....I exercised every single day this week! I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!:
Monday - Run/Walk interval between classes (3.12 miles/39 min)
Tuesday - 200x7 "sprints" (it was more like, sprint the first 2 and try really hard to make it seem like you are not dying/practically walking on the last 5) (3.21 miles/42 min) +I did some arms/abs for about 10 minutes afterward
Wednesday - Power walk (3.12 miles/50 min)
Thursday - Run/Walk with a classmate. We walked .35 miles to the trail, then ran for 1.67 miles straight and then walked 1.67 miles and then walked the .35 miles back. It was 4.07 miles in 56 min. (I know the mileage doesn't add up 100% but its close enough)
Today (Friday) - Bikram!!!! IT'S BAAAAACK!!!! I want to keep going to bikram at least once a week. And I have two classmates who joined me today and really enjoyed it so we are thinking about making it a thing! I'll keep you posted! :)

So I am super proud of myself about my week! But I am definitely exhausted and need a break!

As far as calories for the week are concerned, I ate damn well. I ate the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner pretty much every day:
B: breakfast cookie
L: crock pot chicken tacos and an avocado
D: paleo tikka masala with saffron "rice"
I had a  few variations here and there but that was the gist of it. And I stayed under my calories goal basically every single day!

So it was a great week! I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow and report back! Also I'm trying some new recipes out next week that I'll be posting.

Until then! :)

Gluten Free Pumpkin Pecan Breakfast Cookies [Recipe]

OMG y'all! I found the most amazing cookie recipe ever courtesy of The Girl Who Went Paleo! These are so tasty, I can't even describe them. If you don't like pumpkin, don't be turned off, because these cookies don't even really taste like pumpkin at all. They are moist and chewy, and taste of cinnamon with nice crunchy pecans and walnuts. Superb! I am in heaven. I thought I was never going to get to eat sweets again. These are gluten free, dairy free, free of refined sugar and completely clean! Can't go wrong with that! (I, of course, made some changes to the original recipe to fit my dietary needs).

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup canned 100% real pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)
• 1/2 cup "raw" almond butter
• 1/2 cup raw honey
• 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup oat flour (requires 1 1/4 cup oats--recipe below)
• 1/4 cup oats
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (sub cinnamon if you don't have pumpkin pie spice)
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup pecans
• 1/2 cup walnuts

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. To make the oat flour: Take 1 1/4 cups oats and run through food processor until powder. This will make about 1 cup of oat flour. Easy peasy.
3. Combine wet ingredients in a bowl, combine dry ingredients in another bowl. Mix each well.
4. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and combine well.
5. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, or if you are like me and don't own parchment paper, grease the cookie sheet with cooking spray or butter or coconut oil (I used  coconut oil, naturally).
6. Plop onto the cookie sheet and flatten just a bit.
7. Bake for 10-15 minutes until golden. Remove and let cool (seriously, does anyone ever let anything cool? because I do not).
8. DEVOUR!
9. I wrapped mine individually in cling wrap and placed them in a ziplock bag in my fridge so I can grab them quickly in the mornings.

This recipe makes 9-12 cookies depending on how big you want them. I made 9 so the nutrition breakdown reflects that.

Nutrition Breakdown:
Calories: 279 per serving
Total Fat: 18g
Saturated: 2g
Polyunsaturated: 3g
Monounsaturated: 1g
Cholesterol: 0g
Sodium: 67mg
Potassium: 29mg
Total Carbs: 29g
Dietary Fiber: 3g
Sugars: 16g
Protein: 6g
Vitamin A: 17%
Calcium: 5%
Iron: 8%

Now, this is a bit calorie laden, so don't go eating a bunch in one sitting. This is a BREAKFAST COOKIE for a reason. A quick MEAL to grab when you are running late in the morning (like I am...always) so you don't miss out on breakfast--you know, the most important meal of the day... :) To put it in perspective, when I eat two protein pancakes with 1/2 cup of strawberries, and 2T of 100% pure maple syrup I am downing 336 calories, 6g of fat, 57g of carbs (37g of sugar) and 15g of protein. I think these stack up well. I like to eat my carbs in the morning and save veggies and protein for the evening (although I will admit I had one of these tonight as dessert straight from the oven. WHAT?! I had to taste test them in order to blog about them, right? Plus I had the leftover calories to spare because I KILLED my workout this afternoon), so I believe this is a great start to any day! PLUS, it is really filling. I'm stuffed right now and I ate one well after dinner.

UPDATE 1/10/12
I cannot keep my husband out of these things. He is obsessed with these cookies! Thought I'd share! :)

Booooo NFL Playoffs

Things have been going great. I am at 183.8lbs as of this morning, which is nice considering Saturday, December 29th I weighed in at 193lbs. I don't think I actually lost 10lbs of fat the past week+ but I feel like I've leveled out from the holidays and maybe lost a pound or two.

I went to a bar yesterday to watch some NFL playoff games (my team lost and our star player got injured...booooo), and I ate well considering I couldn't read ingredients to see if something was actually paleo/clean eating and I didn't drink. I realized yesterday that I sort of swore off drinking for the foreseeable future as I go through this weight loss journey. So, let me say it so it is documented: "I will not drink alcohol until I go to Mexico in June". Shock and Awe! But I think of it as being beneficial in two ways. 1) It will help me stay on top of my fitness goals. 2) The bar tab in Mexico will be a lot cheaper because I will be such a light weight. I can dig both.

As far as the bar this weekend was concerned, I drank water. And I order a bison burger (no bun) with local goat cheese, caramelized onions, slow roasted tomatoes on top of greens and sweet potato mash. The burger was phenomenal but I only ate about half of the sweet potato mash because I could just taste that it was laden with butter. Either way, I think it was about 600-700 calories. I'm guessing.

I learned that goat cheese is considered paleo so long as it is local and that it is minimally processed, because it mimics human milk more closely than cows' milk and is much less hard on the digestive tract. I LOVE GOAT CHEESE! Whenever I go to a restaurant, I automatically order whatever item has goat cheese in it whether or not I like the other ingredients because I am OBSESSED with goat cheese. I haven't been eating any other dairy products besides greek yogurt because I only want to eat food that is not processed and does not have any crazy chemical words in the ingredient list. I'm okay with citric acid because thats found in citrus fruits and our body produces it, but everything else I am staying away from. So far, I'm doing really well I think. Judging by my scale I'd say so.

My nutrition for the past few days:

Friday, January 4th
B: Protein pancakes with almond butter and a banana
L: Mushroom/onion turkey burger topped with red onion, tomato, pickle, avocado and mustard wrapped in a swiss chard leaf, served with baby carrots
D: Turkey burger mixed with puttanesca over spaghetti squash
Snacks: 1/2 cup of strawberries

Goal: 1250
Eaten: 1303
Exercise: 0 (I was in class and then I went shopping for school clothes right after)
Net: 1303
Remaining: -53

Saturday, January 5th
B: 1 protein pancake with almond butter and 1/2 of a banana (right before my run)
L: Mushroom/onion turkey burger topped with red onion, tomato, pickle and mustard wrapped in a swiss chard leaf, served with baby carrots
D: Crock Pot Chicken Tacos wrapped in swiss chard, topped with avocado
Sn: Banana Shake (right after my run)

Goal: 1250
Eaten: 1423
Exercise: 362
Net: 1061
Remaining: 189

Sunday, January 6th
B: 2 protein pancakes with real maple syrup and strawberries
L: Bison burger (no bun) with local goat cheese, caramelized onions, slow roasted tomatoes on top of greens and sweet potato mash
D: turkey burger and homemade pico de gallo
Sn: handful of raw cashews

Goal: 1250
Food: 1520
Exercise: 0 (it was a suppper busy day yesterday: cleaned the whole house, met my team for a group project, cleaned more of my house, went to watch the game, made dinner, read some stuff for school, went to bed--no time for exercise today)
Net: 1520
Remaning: -250

Today, Monday, January 7th
B: 2 protein pancakes with real maple syrup and strawberries
L: Crock Pot Chicken Tacos in swiss chard topped with greek yogurt
D: Paleo tikka masala and saffron "rice" (TO. DIE. FOR. Make immediately!!!)
Sn: Banana

Goal:1250
Food: 1405
Exercise: 341 (I'm quite proud of myself today! Every Monday we have a two hour lunch break between classes and I went running during it today! Came home, changed quickly, banged out 3 miles, ate, showered...back to class. Good stuff. Think I'll do that every Monday.)
Net: 1064
Remaining: 186

So, things are going great. I honestly feel, even after only a week, that I have more energy during the day without all that processed crap weighing me down. I have more motivation to work out and get my schoolwork done. And since I make my meals on the weekend I have more time during the week to spend with Hubs and Bubs before I have to dive into the books each night. And I don't feel my sweet tooth coming on too much either (so far). I love it! Here's to sticking to it!

Paleo Tikka Masala and Saffron "Rice" [Recipe]

I have found another suitable Indian food substitute that is 100% paleo as far as I can tell! I have adapted it from Against All Grain. Everything on this woman's blog is grain-free, lactose-free and free of refined sugars. I've been perusing over the past few days and so far, I'm liking what I see. Go take a look!

Here's the link for the Paleo Tikka Masala and here's another link for Saffron "Rice". Of course, I've made a few tweaks,  because obviously I'm all about convenience here. So here are my adaptations:

Marinade Ingredients:

• 1lb chicken breast
• 1/2 cup plain greek yogurt
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 3/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/8 teaspoon ground turmeric
• salt and pepper

Marinade Directions:

1. Cut chicken into small chunks and place in large plastic zip-lock bag.
2. Mix marinade ingredients well in bowl, pour over chicken in bag, seal and shake.
3. Lay flat in refrigerator overnight

 Sauce Ingredients:

• 1/2 yellow onion, chopped
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 tablespoon garam masala
• 3/4 teaspoon chile powder
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon sea salt
• 2.5 cups crushed tomatoes
• 1 teaspoon raw honey
• 3/4 cup cashew cream (recipe below)
• 1/2 cup almond milk
• cilantro for garnish

Sauce Directions:

1. Remove chicken from bag and place under broiler for about 10 minutes, until partially cooked through.
2. In the mean time, prepare the sauce by combining, onion, spices, salt, tomatoes, and honey in crock pot. Mix well.
3. Add cooked chicken and mix well.
4. Cook on low for 3 hours.
5. Add cashew cream and almond milk.
6. Serve over saffron "rice" (recipe to follow) and garnish with cilantro

Cashew Cream Ingredients:

• 4oz raw cashews
• 3 cups boiling water

Cashew Cream Directions

1. Pour boiling water over cashews and cover. Let sit for 30 minutes.
2. Drain cashews, reserving water.
3. Place in blender with 3/4 cup water. Blend until completely smooth. The mixture should look similar to yogurt or soft-serve.

Saffron "Rice" Ingredients:

• 1 small cauliflower head
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil
• 8-10 saffron threads
• 1/3 teaspoon ground cardamom
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon garam masala
• 1 cup organic, low-sodium vegetable broth (I found one that's completely PALEO! yay! Pacific Natural Foods Organic Low-Sodium Vegetable broth--made from organic veggies, filtered water and sea salt)
• 1 cup frozen peas

Saffron "Rice" Directions:

1. Run cauliflower head through food processor until it looks like rice.
2. Melt coconut oil over medium-high heat and add cauliflower and spices. Cook for 5 minutes.
3. Stir in peas.
4. Slowly add broth and stir until it is absorbed. 
5. Fluff and serve.

Both the tikka masala and the rice each make 4 servings. Here's the nutrition breakdown per serving:

Calories: 585

Total Fat: 20g

Saturated: 7g

Polyunsaturated: 3g

Monounsaturated: 8g

Cholesterol: 81mg

Sodium: 925mg

Potassium: 1031mg

Total Carbs: 52g

Dietary Fiber: 11g

Sugars: 20g

Protein: 50g

Vitamin A: 31%

Vitamin C: 175%

Calcium: 23%

Iron: 48%

Not too shabby! The taste is fantastic and it is definitely a great substitution for my other tikka masala recipe which is laden with heavy cream, chicken thighs and of course, white basmati rice! I'll be eating this all week and couldn't be more happy about it! :) It takes a bit of time and prep, but it worked out pretty well for me. Let me know what you think!

UPDATED Crock Pot Chicken Tacos [Recipe]

This is probably one of my absolute favorite recipes of all time. I adore Mexican food. Probably more so than Indian food (and that's saying something). And while this isn't some crazy authentic recipe, it is easy to throw together and it tastes amazing! It looks a hot mess, but it is oh so yummy! I found it courtesy of one of my favorite food bloggers The Girl Who Ate Everything and we have tweaked it and eaten it at least once per month for the past few years. It can be found here. Picture courtesy of her!

Ingredients:

• 1 lb chicken breasts either frozen or thawed
• 3 cups black beans with a little bit of the reserved liquid* (see prep note below)
• 1 bag frozen corn
• 1 jar of favorite salsa (I use medium Newman's Own because its clean)
• 8 oz Greek yogurt (I use Fage)

Directions

1. Place chicken in bottom of crock pot and dump everything else on top. Cook on Low for 4-5 hours.
2. After its done cooking, remove chicken and shred it. Place it back in pot and add the yogurt and stir. Let sit for about 10 minutes.
3. Serve over brown rice or in lettuce wraps (I'm currently going what I like to call paleo-lite so, no rice for me)
4. Devour.

Oh, I'm getting hungry just thinking about these! Enjoy!

*Black Beans prep note:
So, I stopped using canned veggies for the most part because of the high sodium content and my desire to be as clean as possible. So I purchased a bag of dry Goya black beans instead and cooked them in my crock pot:

1. Pour black beans into bottom of crock pot.
2. Cover with water up to two inches about the beans.
3. Cook on high for about 3 hours until tender. 
4. One, 16 oz bag of dry beans yields 6 cups of wet beans. Use 3 cups and a bit of reserve liquid for this recipe.

Nutrition breakdown:

Makes about 6 servings (give or take)

Calories per serving: 310
Total Fat: 2g
Cholesterol: 62mg
Sodium: 480mg
Potassium: 120mg
Total Carbs: 46g
Dietary Fiber: 16g
Sugars: 6g
Protein: 40g
Vitamin A: 15%
Vitamin C: 5%
Calcium: 11%
Iron: 20%

Chocolate Banana Almond Butter Shake [Recipe]

I found this via one of my classmates' Pinterest boards yesterday and made it this morning after my 3-miler. It is really yummy, and once again, customizable. The original recipe did not call for cocoa, but I added it anyway. You can probably add protein powder if you are so inclined, but as a paleo/clean-eater I prefer not to do that.

Pics to come. I devoured this bad boy wayyyy too fast to get a pic of it this morning! It is very delicious and only takes about 5 minutes to prepare. I'll probably be enjoying this bad boy all week for breakfast since I'm always running late in the morning.

Ingredients:

• One large banana
• 6 oz unsweetened original almond milk
• 1 TBSP unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 TBSP raw almond butter (if going paleo--should contain only raw almonds or pasteurized raw almonds on the ingredients list)
• 6-10 ice cubes (depends on how slushy-like you want it--I used 6 and it was just a little thicker than milk--just the way I like it)
• 1 Stevia in the raw packet

Directions

1. Add all ingredients to blender and blend. The end. 

Makes about 10oz give or take

Nutrition Breakdown:

Calories: 248

Total Fat: 12g

Saturated: 1g

Polyunsaturated: 0g

Monounsaturated: 1g

Sodium: 114mg

Potassium: 532mg

Total Carbs: 39g

Dietary Fiber: 7g

Sugars: 19g

Protein: 6g

Vitamin A: 10%

Vitamin C: 20%

Calcium: 39%

Iron: 10%

Quick Chickpea Curry [Recipe]

I really realllllly love Indian food, but it is SOOOO not paleo/clean eating friendly at all. What, with the  heavy cream and the naan and the basmati rice. I want to, but I just...can't. As much as I crave it like always. If you have any paleo/clean eating Indian recipes PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send them my way. I will love you forever.

All that being said, I did come across (on Pinterest, of course) a clean eating recipe for curry. It's not perfect but it was spicy and savory and good enough for me even without the naan and basmati!

I adapted the recipe from Kitchen Demure and the pic that actually looks decent is courtesy of her! The other one is mine, taken straight from the iPhone. Photography is not my thing. Deal with it.

Quick Chickpea Curry

Ingredients:

• 1 cup chickpeas (I used Goya low sodium--currently looking for a sodium-less version)
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 tsp grated fresh ginger (or 1/4 tsp ground ginger)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 tsp garam masala
• 2 tablespoons tomato pasta
• 2 cups water
• 1 couple of handfuls of baby spinach (I used spinach/arugula mix because that's what I had on hand)
• salt and pepper to taste (I only used pepper)

Directions

1. Heat medium pan to med/high and add oil and onions, sauté until slightly tender.
2. Add garlic and ginger and stir (you may want to add just a tablespoon or two of water at this point if you are using the ground ginger otherwise it will burn to the pan).
3. Add garam masala and stir until just combined.
4. Add chickpeas and water, stir and let simmer for about 10 minutes.
5. Add tomato paste and salt and pepper and stir to combine.
6. Add your baby spinach and let wilt.
7. Serve as is or over rice with naan (I'm jealous of you for even thinking about doing that without me). I ate it as is.

Makes one serving (about 1.5 cups).

Calories: 438

Total Fat: 15g

Saturated: 2g

Polyunsaturated: 2g

Monounsaturated: 2g

Sodium: 287mg

Potassium: 162mg

Total Carbs: 64g

Dietary Fiber: 17g

Sugars: 7g

Protein: 15g

Vitamin A: 54%

Vitamin C: 23%

Calcium: 13%

Iron: 29%

YUMMMMMYYYYY

Chickpea Avocado Puree [Recipe]

I made this awesomeness today after my run. It's nothing special, but I was starving and I had the ingredients on hand, and I figured I'd post it to give others a jumping off point. It's another one of those fully customizable recipes so feel free to change it up as much as it suits your needs!

Ingredients

• 1 cup chickpeas (drained and rinsed, you can leave their skins on)
• 1 avocado
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 clove minced garlic
• something to serve with or on
• Salt and pepper to taste (I only add pepper)

Directions

1. Put all ingredients into the food processor and puree.
2. Serve it any way you want (with chips, veggies, etc.) I served it on one leaf of swiss chard, cut in half, and topped with red onions and tomatoes. I rolled each leaf up so it was like a wrap. Yummmmm!

This recipe makes 1 serving of about 1.5 cups.

Calories: 521

Total Fat: 28g

Saturated Fat: 3g

Polyunsaturated Fat: 3g

Monounsaturated Fat: 18g

Sodium: 146mg (I used Goya low sodium chickpeas because I had them stored in my pantry for months. I am looking to switch to a sodium-less brand in order to remain completely "clean")

Potassium: 930mg

Total Carbs: 63g

Dietary Fiber: 26g

Protein: 12g

Vitamin C: 36%

Calcium: 12%

Iron: 24%

There you have it, a nice healthy snack!

Back to Business

WELP! School started yesterday! And it is already in full swing....it's like I never left. Wait. I did leave? Really? When? I feel like I just started my break and then it was over. Granted, since I did fail that first anatomy exam I had to retake it 5 days after pretty much all the rest of my class had already started their break. So I got 2.5 weeks off. I know, that's nothing to sneeze at considering in the "real world" you don't actually get any winter breaks. yea, yea...I get it. But it was a nice to weeks nonetheless. I worked which was amazing, because I definitely miss working with actual patients sooooo much. You would think that there would be more patient interaction in PT school, but no, you pretty much work on each other 90% of the time. Anyway, I digress....

So, school has gone well the past two days. I've already got a study system down that incorporates both my computer and long-hand note taking which is so far working out well. I have my first quiz in Movement Science II bright and early tomorrow morning on "Normal Gait" and then I plan on spending the rest of my day at the outlet mall shopping for new school clothes. Assuming I don't need a nap by 12. I have spent the past two nights up until 1 am doing homework or cleaning. Hopefully I will get to bed at a decent hour tonight. I still have a few things to review.

Anyway, the stuff you really care about (no one reads this, but I guess I should sort of stick to the topic anyway):

Yesterday and today both went really well, food-wise and exercise-wise!

Wednesday:
B: 2 protein pancakes with strawberries and blackberries and real maple syrup
L: Mushroom/Onion Turkey burger with balsamic vinegar, mustard, red onion, tomato, spinach/arugula mix and pickles, served with baby carrots
D: 10oz salmon filet (in the frying pan with just a tiny bit of EVOO, garlic powder, onion powder and pepper), spaghetti squash and puttanesca sauce
Sn: Banana
Tidbits: I will admit that I DID have a few bites of Bubs' mac 'n cheese, BECAUSE, I stopped by Kraft because of all of the crazy chemical names in the ingredients and bought Annie's instead and I wanted to see how it stacked up (it's good). Also, that peanut butter tree was still on my counter as of last night so I gave it to Bubs for dessert but not before I took a (smallish) bite out of it...what?! I had to make sure it wasn't rotten--God knows I've never let a Reese's last that long so I'm not sure how long they keep. ;)

Anyway, so totals:
Goal: 1250
Consumed: 1682
Exercise: 312 (I ran/walked about 2.68 miles around my neighborhood yesterday)
Net: 1370

Not too shabby!

Today:
B: 2 protein pancakes, strawberries (my blackberries were moldy after only 4 days...I'm mad), and real maple syrup
L: Chickpea and avocado puree with tomato and red onion wrapped in swiss chard
D: Chickpea curry
MSn: 1 banana
ASn: 1 protein pancake with almond butter and half a banana
Tidbits: I had 2 bites of Bubs' leftover mac 'n cheese to check if it was too hot (seriously!). I had one bite of Hubs' garlic bread that he had with his dinner. Is swear that was all today! Be proud, people!

Totals:
Goal: 1250
Consumed: 1733
Exercise: 393 (I ran/walked for 4 miles near my campus)
Net:  1340


So, I'm doing well! Added a few new recipes today (nothing too crazy) so check them out!

'Night!

Starting Off Right!

Today went really well, in my humble opinion:

B: 2 protein pancakes with blackberries/strawberries and real maple syrup
L: Mushroom/Onion Turkey burger with spinach and arugula mix, red onion, tomato, pickles, mustard and balsamic vinegar with baby carrots
D: Mushroom/Onion Turkey burger with avocado salsa and a bag of the Birdseye Steamfresh broccoli cuts (couldn't afford the florets this time...sigh)
Ds: large banana with honey and cinnamon

Totals: 1293
Goal: 1250

Not too shabby. I want to stay under 1300, so I set my calorie counter at 1250 just to give myself some wiggle room.

Alright, that's all. Tomorrow is the big day--starting semester #2 of PT school. Aaaaand of course I still have a few things to get done around here still and its 11pm....soooooo, goodnight! :)

New Year...New Perspective

Happy New Year!!!!

I am so excited to be starting this New Year off right! I didn't drink last night. We stayed in, actually. Did a little bit of shopping during the day, made dinner, watched a movie, watched the ball drop, went to bed. It was glorious!

And today we are doing our New Year's serious house clean and getting ready for school to start all over again tomorrow for both myself and Bubs.

I did want to take a second to reflect on all of the great things that happened to me this past year, whether they be triumphs of struggles, they were all worth it. I...

• started PT school
• passed my first semester of PT school
• lost 26lbs and learned how to eat right and exercise again
• started to really love me for me for the first time in a long time
• got closer to my husband
• watched my baby grow into her personality just a bit more
• made a huge move to a new state away from my family and friends
• made new friends (who are wonderful by the way)
• started to organize my life a little bit

That's at least some of them. And I listed some of my "resolutions" for 2013 in my last post. But let's recap:

• Get down to 150-160lbs (AND STAY THERE)
• Pass my second semester of PT school (with flying colors)
• Be more organized and on top of things this semester
• Don't let my stress over school derail my eating and exercising like it did last semester

The best part about my eating and exercising, is that I have a goal date this time! My mom (who is the most amazing person ever) is taking me, Hubs, Bubs, my sister and her boyfriend to Cabo in June during my break from classes. CRAZY, RIGHT?!?!? And the best part is that my super awesome Grandpa and his wife, Pam (also super awesome) are joining us! It is going to be the best vacation of my life. I am so unbelievably excited. And, I really want to be able to wear a bathing suit (bikini or otherwise) and feel confident in doing so. Actually, I want to be able to wear anything on this vacation and feel confident and not uncomfortable in any way. So! Here's to June 7th! Time to REALLY get my ass in gear. No excuses, play like a champion. Right?

Here's how I did yesterday:

B: 2 protein pancakes (I made them with greek yogurt this time because I looked at the labels on the cottage cheeses at Walmart and they are most definitely NOT clean), with blackberries/strawberries and two tablespoons of real maple syrup

L: Mushroom/Onion Turkey burger topped with coarse ground mustard, tomatoes, red onion, arugula and spinach mix and 1/2 of an avocado; baby carrots

Sn: Bubs and I shared an unsalted, butter-free pretzel when we were shopping at Target

D: spaghetti squash, puttanesca, and grilled haddock

Ds: Hubs and I split the last of the pecan pie from Christmas

Totals: About 2000 calories give or take because I didn't measure the olive oil I mixed in with the spaghetti squash or cooked the haddock with. Shrug.

Anyway, I was satisfied all day for the most part. Except for when I was ravenous at Target and Bubs really wanted a snack. We had just one stop left and were going to be home within an hour but I couldn't deny the baby a snack considering she didn't want lunch and was going on like 4 hours of nothing. But when I got her that pretzel, OMG it smelled and looked so delicious I just had to have some. So I caved. I ate about 1/3 of it. And the pecan pie, well its been staring me in the face for the past several days and I just wanted it to go away before New Year's Day so I didn't ruin my "resolutions". So we ate it and its gone and I don't have to worry about it again until Thanksgiving. Thank God. Now the only thing left to stare me in the face is the Reese's Peanut Butter Christmas Tree sitting on my counter. But I'm giving it to Bubs for dessert tonight so I will no longer have to worry about THAT either. Frankly, I'm surprised it has lasted the 4 days it HAS been staring me in the face anyway. Will power. I'm working on it.

But I stepped on the scale today and its said 187.8lbs. I'm down 5.2lbs since Saturday. Probably water weight, or just me eating a little bit healthier and in moderation over the past few days so my body is just getting itself back down to equilibrium. I no longer feel as bloated as I did last week, so things are going well so far. I just need to make sure I eat every 4 hours so I don't start to get ravenous and eat a whole bunch of shit I don't need to.

Alright, well that's all for updates. Here's to a happy and HEALTHY (and maybe a little bit sexy) 2013!!! :)